Perfectionism is a quality based on brain-washing and anxiety. It pushes a person to aim for something that does not exist. Perfectionism itself does not exist, because it is a subjective concept that will be different within a group of individuals, as well as within cultures, age groups, nationalities etc. Brain-washing is involved because it is a concept highly promoted by the media, to see certain products and ideas: anxiety is involved because those that believe it to exist will be doomed to perpetual failure in their efforts to achieve it – because it does not truly exist.

With perfectionism, there is no space for the more humane and accepting idea of “good enough”. It is an arena that promotes competition without a finishing line. Anxiety and stress become the dominant affect in such an arena; and where these emotions exist, we also get a great deal of unhappiness. At a rather extreme manifestation of this unhappiness, we can see children who are pushed by their parents to achieve, achieve and achieve, to the exclusion of creativity, fun and play. Such people perceive success to be around the corner, yet it is well known that your child will be more widely developed if their sense of achievement is tempered by the ability to play. Their brain will on a very physical level develop in a more balanced manner and they will experience a greater sense of happiness if they can find the balance of achievement with quality of life – a state that does not encompass perfection.

Also perfectionism does not allow for change: It exists within statis whereas humans and all things related to nature, and hence humans, changes from moment to moment. An element of narcissism exists within a person striving to be a perfectionist, and that means a level of developmental arrest took place at some point in your life. This can be due to any number of reasons but they will invariably reach a source point of someone close to you having high expectations – from whom you learnt to have high expectations of yourself and the world. And so the cycle continues ... until one of you decides to do something different and change the pattern.